Safety and Security, Pleasure and Pain
These are very intimately linked together. You see, women have been programmed for centuries to look for safety and security outside of self. When a traumatic experience occurs, emotionally, the amygdala in the brain reacts through inflammation. This results in a constant stress response, fear and unease. Subconsciously you repeat the limited belief created by the initial trauma. It’s here in this void, you are seeking to fill this emotional space with pleasure or pain.
When you first experienced this trauma, you shut down a piece of yourself to stay safe. As you matured, this aspect of you continued to run the old programming, keeping you safe from the encoded memory. It shows up in the need to acquire more or better. It shows up in the form of addiction and control. Essentially there is a part of you, that is looking to be seen, heard, validated and loved, and she has been looking for it outside of herself.
Let’s look at this closer. Little girls have a very sharp, smart intuitive knowing. They feel things, see things and understand things different from adults. When you spoke up as a little girl, speaking your truth, adults didn’t listen. They didn’t hear you, or want to believe you. And, maybe there was an event that occurred that really made you feel unsafe. That caused you to shut down.
It also caused you to stop trusting your gifts.
Your intuitive, trusting and knowing gifts. The real gifts that help you as a woman make decisions, take right action, and keep yourself safe.
By the time you’re a grow woman, as generations did before you, you got married, a stellar career, and decided the external world would provide you the joy and passion, independence and freedom you wanted. Except one thing. You were still operating out of safety and security, pleasure and pain from this limited space. Maybe you saw addiction, your marriage fail, the career suck the life out of you and money have less meaning and purpose for you. Little passion and joy traded for your soul and your life. Your desire to Feel something more, connect in and touch the depth of your soul which feels so juicy and limitless. These are the true essence of your emotions.
You’ve gone through counseling. You get upset at yourself, berating yourself and beating yourself up for giving up and giving in.
Yet, when you needed to you saved yourself. You protected your greatest gifts, and now it’s time to learn how to uncover how to use them. To set yourself free.
Free of the pain, free of the need to seek pleasure. Free to find yourself. The woman who wants to experience lasting soul filling joy, happiness and peace.
So now that there is a part of you who needs to be seen, heard, validated and loved what do you do? You, as the grown woman give her what she needs. You provide protection for her.
This will ask you to get comfortable with yourself. All the parts of you. Even the ones you judged, criticized and made feel unworthy. Start to see the world from a new perspective. Open your mind to possibilities. Nothing is permanent and healing is a process. Start simple.
- List 3 things you want to stop doing and 3 things you want to start doing.
- Give yourself some private and intimate time. Listen to sound healing music, light candles, feel your emotions, let them roll.
- Invest in a healer who has healed his or her own trauma, one who will support you in moving forward and create a safe space for you to do so.
- Write the behaviors, habits and patterns which have hurt you, held you stuck, feeling shame, guilt or blame and burn them.
- Listen to your own intuition, trust her. Now more than ever you need her, give her the space and loving kindness to be set free.
The greatest opportunity we have today as women is to honor ourselves. Our light and our dark. To learn from the past, connect to your present and heal. It’s through the healing joy, passion, and happiness arise bringing a new feeling. A feeling of peace, and serenity only experienced after the storm. The rainbow of beauty for all to see and witness.
Have the courage to get out of your own way. To listen to the voice from within, stop your suffering.
If you’d like to learn more about how the programs and services at Priestess of Passion can support and help in your healing email me at monica@priestessofpassion.com.
Illuminating the riches within
Monica Heiz
Priestess of Passion.com
Courageous Heart 